


A heart of glass

by anlomijo



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Hopeful Ending, Hurt Jaskier | Dandelion, Post-Episode: S01E06 Rare Species, Sad Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:20:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27561388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anlomijo/pseuds/anlomijo
Summary: Jaskier is hurt becasue of what Geralt said to him. Little does he know that Geralt regrets it.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Kudos: 34





	A heart of glass

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> This is kind of an old fic I wrote a while ago so it's probably kinda bad and OOC, sorry about that but I still wanna share it because I nejoyed writing it. English is not my first language so you'll have to excuse the inevitable misspellings. I hope you enjoy!

_ If life could give me one blessing, it would be to take you off my hands. _

That was the only thing going through Jaskier’s head going down the mountain together with everyone else. He couldn’t believe that Geralt really thought nothing of him after all this time. Sure he had known that the witcher didn’t always necessarily enjoy his company, that was just how he was, but he really thought he had gotten past the blatant hatred towards the bard and that they were at least somewhat friends. He at least thought Geralt tolerated his presence and enjoyed it to some extent but apparently not. Jaskier laughed bitterly. He couldn’t believe that he had spent over half his life with someone who apparently couldn’t care less about him. That he had loved someone who only wanted him gone. He felt his heart breaking all over again and suddenly he was close to crying. It felt like he couldn’t breathe properly and his face was wet. He was crying. He quickly looked around to see if anyone had seen him and his eyes met purple ones. He used his hand to wipe away the tears and looked away but he still felt them studying him. Suddenly he felt a presence beside him and knowing who it was he slowly looked up and met Yennefer's eyes. She was looking at him with a peculiar look in her eyes. As if she saw him properly for the first time. They continued looking at each other for a while before Yennefer’s mouth turned upward into a small almost understanding smile and her eyes looked almost… sad. 

“Jaskier”, Yennefer said.

“Yennefer”, He answered feeling kind of confused as to why she was talking to him.

Suddenly she stopped walking and indicated with her head that he should stop and he did.

“I think we should talk”, was her answer to his questioning gaze. She said it surprisingly gently.

Jaskier wasn’t sure what to think but he walked closer to her nonetheless feeling a little but unsure and suspicious. Yennefer sighed.

“I can hear what you are thinking you know”, She said but without the bite in her voice. “It’s okay though.” She continued, smiling a small smile again. It was quite unsettling. He had no idea why she was being so… nice to him.

“Why are you not being a total bitch right now?” Jaskier asked apprehensively.

“Is it so hard to think that I actually know what you are going through?” Yennefer asked.

“Yes” Jaskier answered and Yennefer’s eyes darkened slightly. Jaskier immediately regretted saying it.

“Sorry”, Jaskier said looking down at his boots. “What did you want to talk about?”

Yennefer cast a look over his shoulder and he followed her eye’s and met the gaze of the man he had been avoiding. Jaskier held his gaze and he was surprised to see something like guilt or regret in his eye. He shaked his head and told himself he was just imagining it. Geralt couldn’t stand the sight of him so why would he suddenly start caring now. He remembered that he was standing with Yennefer and that his guilty eyes were for her and not for him. He looked back towards Yennefer with a stone in his stomach.

“What about him?” He asked quietly with burning eyes. God, he was so angry that just the sight of the Witcher made him feel like absolute shit. 

“I don’t know exactly what he said to make you so upset but I know he regrets it” She said with understanding eyes. Jaskier scoffed.

“I highly doubt that,” He said. Yennefer sighed in response and shook her head.

“You really are an oblivious idiot, aren't you?” She said with an amusing voice. Jaskier looked at her with fire in his eyes.

“What the fuck do you mean by that?” He asked heatedly.

“You really can’t see that he loves you huh?” Yennefer said. Jaskier didn’t know how to answer that. He was speechless.

“He… he doesn’t love me”, Jaskier said. “No way.”

“Why not?”

“Well, I mean first of he said no shouted at me that he couldn’t stand the sight of me, so there is no fucking way that he has feelings for me.”

Yennefer looked at him with a peculiar look.

“And besides… He broke my heart,” Jaskier said. “Why should I give him a second chance?”

“Because you’re miserable and he is too,” Yennefer said with a kind look in her eyes.

“But… but what about you?” Jaskier asked suddenly. “He is miserable because of you.”

Yennefer shook her head.

“No, dear Jaskier, he doesn’t love me. That was only because of the djinn.” Yennefer said sadly.

Jaskier looked at her with a surprised expression.

“But you love him.”

Yennefer looked behind him with a melancholy expression on her face before looking back at the bard.

“I don’t know.” She said.

Jaskier didn’t say anything for a while. There were too many thoughts and questions surging around in his mind. There’s no way that Geralt has feelings for me, right? And even if he did, can I forgive him for what he said?

“Even if he does have… feelings… for me, I don’t know if I would be able to forgive him.” Jaskier said, his eyes filling with tears again. “At least not now. He broke my heart Yennefer. He shattered it to pieces. I don’t know if I can forgive him for that.”

Yennefer nodded with eyes full of understanding and sadness. Then he did something that surprised both of them. He hugged her. At first she just stood there, stiff like a stick, but eventually she brought her arms slowly around his waist. They stood like that for a few seconds before letting go of each other. Jaskier had tears streaming down his face but he smiled at her.

“I think we both needed that,” He said, feeling the darkness around his heart letting in some light.

They continued down the path of the mountain. This time side by side. The others were already far ahead of them and Geralt was nowhere to be seen. Not that he cares. Damn it who is he kidding, of course he cares. He hated that he cared so much, so much that it was consuming him. He wanted nothing more than to turn back time and go back to when he at least didn’t know what Geralt thought of him but that wasn’t possible. Yennefer's presence beside him was a welcome comfort and he was not as sad when he knew that he had someone who understood what he was feeling. 

Geralt was deep in thought when he was walking down the mountain. The pain in his heart was new and he didn’t like it. Not one bit. He had no idea what possessed him to say that to Jaskier. Just thinking about his hurt expression on the mountain made all the guilt he was trying not to feel come back full force. He knew that none of the things he had said were true but he had still said them. Because he was angry and hurt by what Borch had said to him about Yennefer. He had thought that he loved her but now he is starting to think differently. He cares about her. He probably always will but the expression on his bards face had made him feel awful. Jaskier had become a constant in his life for the past 22 years and thought of him leaving hadn’t even crossed his mind. But now he might never come back. Geralt knew that he should say something, that he should apologize but he had never been good with words. He never knew what to say in these situations. He didn’t know how to be comforting or what to say that could possibly make this right again. 

He turned around and saw Yennefer and Jaskier talking, with Jaskier’s back towards him. This surprised him immensely. He met Yennefer's gaze and then Jaskier turned around and his blue eyes were shining with tears. Geralt felt all of his guilt and regret come back and the sadness in his heart came back with full force. He held Jaskier’s gaze for a few seconds before Jaskier turned around. How could he possibly get Jaskier to forgive him? Geralt turned around and continued walking down the path. 

He had known he felt more than friendly feelings for the bard a long time ago but they had freaked him out. He knew Jaskier was going to leave him eventually, if not voluntarily then involuntarily, and he didn’t allow himself the happiness that he would have had with Jaskier for the fear of losing him. He knew that this wasn’t a life for a bard who could barely defend himself and who had no regard for his own safety. He thought that he would have just been even more heartbroken if he had lost Jaskier after confessing his feelings for him. Now he doesn’t know if he was correct because nothing could be worse than this. 

He decided that he would try to apologize later. He wouldn’t let his… whatever… he had with Jaskier end like this and if Jaskier didn’t forgive him he’d have to live with it even though he could never even imagine a life where he could never see his bard again. He started walking faster to make it down the mountain before the other ones.

It was a few hours later until they made it down to the town by the foot of the mountain. Jaskier and Yennefer were still walking beside each other but they hadn’t said much more down the mountain. Jaskier hadn’t seen Geralt at all when he was walking down the mountain and he was starting to become worried about him. He silently cursed his soft heart for still caring so much about the Witcher.

Jaskier and Yennefer said goodbye to the company and walked into the town and to the closest inn. It was a small inn in a small town but it would suffice for one night and something to eat and maybe some playing if he was allowed. Not that that had ever stopped him before. They walked into the inn and he finally saw Geralt. He hated himself for feeling so relieved. Yennefer gave him a knowing look and a smirk and he hit her lightly on her arm. Yennefer pretended to be angry and he smiled for the second time since Geralt last spoke to him.

“I’ll go buy us some food and a room for the night.” Yennefer said with that knowing look on her face and walked away.

Jaskier breathed deeply and made his way toward the Witcher. He and Yennefer had decided that he should at least let Geralt explain, if he had anything to say. He reached the table where the Witcher sat and hesitated. Geralt looked at him stoically but with guilty eyes. Jaskier sat down. No one said anything and it was starting to become awkward when Jaskier broke the silence between them.

“So… I think that we need to talk.” Jaskier said, fidgeting with his hands and not really looking into Geralt’s eyes. Geralt nodded slowly as answer. He opened his mouth a few times but did not say anything. 

“So, are you and Yennefer friends now or?” Geralt asked, looking confused. Jaskier raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms.

“Really,  _ that’s _ what you want to talk about right now?” Jaskier asked with a cold expression on his face. Geralt’s face fell and he shook his head.

“No. Gods Jaskier, I’m sorry.” Geralt said with regret plain to see in his eyes. “I have no idea what to say to make it alright but you have to know that I’m sorry for what I said.”

Jaskier’s eyes softened and a smile tugged at his lips but he quickly steeled his expression and looked down on his hands. He couldn’t let Geralt think that that was all it took for Jaskier to forgive him.

“It doesn’t make it alright but thank you for saying that.” Jaskier said earnestly. Geralt looked up with hope in his eyes. Maybe they’ll be alright after all.

“Is there anything I can do to make it better?” Geralt asked hesitantly.

“You already have by apologizing Geralt,” Jaskier said with a small smile. “I just don’t know if I’m ready to forgive you just now. I guess only time will tell.” 

Geralt nodded. This was more than he could have ever hoped for.

“What will you do now?” Geralt asked slowly. He wanted Jaskier to stay with him more than anything but he wouldn’t blame him if he still went away, even if it would hurt if he left. Jaskier smiled knowingly. 

“i don’t know. Why? Do you want me to stay?” Jaskier asked teasingly with some of the light in his eyes returning. I guess Yennefer was right, Jaskier thought, he cares about me after all. The thought made Jaskier want to shout in glee.

“Of course I do.” Geralt said and Jaskier doesn’t think Geralt has ever looked so sure of anything before. 

“Then I will.” Jaskier said and Geralt smiled one of his rare smiles. Jaskier smiled warmly and thanked his heart that he could feel so much love for someone else even if it was his lovely idiot of a Witcher.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic! I hope you enjoyed at least a little bit!  
> You can also always find me on tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/anlomijo (Though I pretty much only post about Supernatural right now)


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